The River Gum

OPTIONAL EXERCISE:
Choose a topic for a poem. If you want, you can use one of these topics: shadows, the rain, dancing, a tree.
Now take a poem or story you’ve written in the past about another topic. Use at least two lines or phrases from that poem or story in your new poem.

The River Gum

Born in an age of innocence
On a brown and peaceful land
By a reedy creek meandering
Through the beds of golden sand
The River Gum stands mighty
And unconquered through the years
Declaring total dominance
Over many ageing peers.

But no longer barefoot people
Light their fires near its base
And harden wooden spear points
So’s to terminate the chase
Now jet trails stream across the sky
And tractors tear the dirt
The modern world consumes the tree
And goes on Red Alert.

About Phil46

70 years old. Live in small country town called Warren in NSW Australia. Still teaching at local school on a casual basis. (Or so it was supposed to be) Live on a 10 acre property situated on the Gunninbah Creek. Five grandkids (three in Sydney, two in Dubbo). Lovely wife of forty six years. Don't play Golf.
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6 Responses to The River Gum

  1. Judy says:

    I have no clue what the original lines were you used in this poem.
    I do know you have done yourself proud with it. Awesome.

  2. Evocative and spare in the best possible way. Very satisfying to read out loud. What if you described the sky and the dirt in those last few lines to give a greater sense of what has changed, a crescendo before the finality of it all.

    • Phil46 says:

      Hi Rossandra…..you might have noticed a couple oh Haiku poems I have posted. The reason I like them so much
      is because they are the ultimate of distillation of ideas and presentation. I always try to transfer this control
      into anything I write. Maybe that answers your question.
      Many Thanks
      Phil

  3. Phil46 says:

    Wow… I didn’t realise I was communicating with a famous author. Imagine me pontificating about writing.

  4. Jude R says:

    Love all the images through the ages that this poem evokes with great use of words. Very enjoyable.

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