This is the final chapter for this short story “Losing Control”. I don’t know, but I think the ending is not all that great. Am I missing something? However, I welcome other thoughts and opinion.
Final – Part 3 of Losing Control
As I lay there on those silk sheets, drifting off, I thought what a wonderful feeling it was to have someone else to come into the situation and rescue me. You see I was at the point that I had lost all control of the situation. I had no visual way out. My mind was unclear and cloudy. My control level was down to point zero. I felt my world slipping away with no return.
It took someone else to come into my life and take control. I realize that I could not be in control of everything nor everyone. As my eyes begin to close I felt a calm and peaceful rest come over me. If this was my last breath and thoughts at least all was peaceful inside of me. I balled up in a fetus position and everything became dark and void.
An alarm clock ringed loud in my ears, but it was the phone ringing next to the bed. I slowly reached out to get the phone. Still laying in the bed and dizzy, I said, “Hello”. But no one was on the other end. Dropping the receiver of the phone, hearing this bang, bang, bang sound do I dare open my eyes. It hit me; I do not have a phone in my bedroom. Since I was hearing earthly sounds and my heart beating means I should be alive. However, was I still in this nightmare?
I laid there as still as a board, flat on my back with my eyes shut tight. I begin to move my right leg over to the other side of the bed. I was praying that the strange man was not next to me. Inch by inch like an inchworm I moved my leg. Each movement brought about a scary and awesome feeling deep down in my soul. I felt nothing but that does not mean anything because the person could be up staring at me from afar. I was asking a phone that was not there. So, could I be feeling nothing that could be there? All of this brought anxiety to my body. Anxiety where did that come from, I thought. The way I conduct my life and the overwhelming strength that I possess never produces anxiety in me.
Now, it’s time to face the reality of life. However, still with eyes shut, I did something foreign to me. I whisper a short prayer, “Lord, please help me to hang in there for I do not want to lose my mind. Set me free. Thanks”.
Once again I slowly open my eyes, not knowing what was about to happen. Not knowing, WOW that was not my routine at all. When my eyes were opening, I stared at the ceiling; my eyeballs shifted to the right, nothing and then shifted to the left side, nothing. There was something on the ceiling that caught my eyes, which put a big smile on my weary face.
With great joy, I realize that I was back in my own bed with my gray and black sheets. I was so happy that I leaped out of bed and ran around the house screaming and jumping around like a crazy person. I was back but was I really back.
I felt different. I felt alive. I felt like I was on top of the world. I had so much joy inside that it was bubbling over to the outside of me. Who was this person? I did not recognize. But I didn’t care because I was enjoying this new and awesome wave. I rush to put on my clothes, which was something I never did. I ripped up my routine sheet and anything that reminded me of my controlling world. I had a new looked and a new attitude. I was amazed of the outcome for it was fresh and free. Today was a brand new day of the rest of my life.
As I passed the hallway long thin wooden mirror, I saw this person with a positive glowing radiate skin, which lighted up her face. I stopped and looked again; it was really the reflection of me. I stood there for a moment taking in this awesome sight. I changed my whole out looked on life and I wanted the world to take a notice of my new attitude. There was this saying that I heard my ancestors say, “Actions speak louder than words.” I told the young lady in the mirror, “You now have to put actions to what you are feeling. The first step would be to change your style.”
I dashed to my dark and dreary closet and started to pack all those dull looking clothes. When I saw something sparkling way in the back of the closet. It was a dress that I had never seen before in my closet. It had a peaceful and elegant look about it. “Now, that’s the dress for me today”, I said to myself. How did it get into my closet, I really did not care, but I was going to put that dress on. I continue to pack up all those dreary clothes in a box. Once I finished I placed the box in front of the front door.
As I was changing clothes to put on that sparkling dress, I decided that my life needed a drastic and profound change. So, once I put on that elegant dress, I was going to head to the spa for a complete makeover. I wanted something that would express the emotions that I was feeling inside. I finished getting dressed and grabbed my keys and headed to the front door.
I open the door. Turned around to pick up the box and when I turned back around with the box in my hand, I bumped into this man. This man came out of nowhere. Why was he even there in my way? My box fell out of my hand. I heard a voice, “Sorry, Let me help”. That voice sounds familiar to me. He stooped down to pick up the box. When he stood up and gave me the box, my mouth dropped open. This couldn’t be or could it be, the stranger in my nightmare.
I stood there without saying a word or blinking an eye. He just handed me the box and turned and walked away. Standing in shock, I slowly turn around, the man turned around. Our eyes meet. He gave me a quick wink and a smile. I quickly turn my head the over way, thinking that was the stranger in my so called dream. When I did a double take to make sure, the stranger had quickly vanished.
Was that a sign of approval of my new style and attitude? or Was it a reminder of what I just gone though. I do recall that being a controlling freak is not living a healthy life. However, having a balance in life and allowing others to help bring about a healthy life, attitude, and emotions. Now that will benefit my surrounding and me.
Remember: Being a controlling freak will never give you great joy in life.